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Is calling someone out of the blue bad etiquette? Almost 30% of people think so.
Published 11 days ago • 4 min read
Hello Reader,
I recently posted a question on LinkedIn that sparked a very spirited conversation.
Is calling someone unexpectedly bad etiquette?
Almost 30% of respondents said yes. And the comments were even more telling.
A significant number of people said absolutely. Don't call without warning. One CEO put it bluntly: "I think it's super rude to think work people can just drop everything to answer your call."
I pushed back, gently. Because rude implies bad intent. And most people calling unexpectedly aren't being inconsiderate. They're simply operating from a different set of norms.
One commenter shared that she lives notification-free, stacks her meetings on specific days, and has her phone on Do Not Disturb for 18 hours a day. Impressive, and honestly, I get it. My calendar is packed too, and a random call at the wrong moment is pretty much impossible to take. These days I love voice notes for exactly this reason. You still get a real human voice, but on your own time and terms.
But here's what struck me most about the whole conversation: everyone assumed their preference was the right one.
Your Normal Isn't Everyone's Normal
This is something I think about a lot in my work, and it goes straight to the heart of what etiquette is actually about.
If your team has moved entirely to Slack, and your clients live in their inboxes, and your industry has quietly phased the phone out of daily life, it's easy to start believing that's just how things work now. That email is dead. That calling is rude. That everyone operates the way you do.
But they don't.
I'm currently working with a firm whose sales team navigates multi-million dollar projects entirely over the phone. Real-time problem solving. Relationship building. Technical conversations that a message thread simply can't replicate. The same is true for healthcare, legal, financial services, real estate, construction, recruiting. The list is long.
One commenter (who works with retail clients) said it perfectly: "I'm old school and pick up the phone when I need to. This has doubled my revenue without a dollar on ads. Busy store owners don't have time to respond to every email or look at their calendars."
And someone in a separate conversation about email asked, "Why are we still using email!?" Which, funnily enough, is the exact same energy as "Do people still even use the phone!?"
Here's the thing: communication isn't always about what you prefer. It's often about meeting people where they are. The most effective communicators I've seen read the room and adapt. Knowing when to email, when to message, and when to just pick up the phone is a skill. And it's one that's quietly disappearing.
Which brings me to something I talked about recently in front of a room full of business leaders.
What I Shared at a Private Executive Networking Event in Toronto
Last week I was invited to speak at an event hosted by a friend in Toronto, filled with CEOs and business leaders. The talk was called The Workplace Divide: Understanding Gen Z.
One of the things that l mentioned was this: a large accounting firm recently had to add something new to their professional training program.
How to pick up the phone.
To this generation, a ringing phone feels like a loss of control. They grew up communicating on their own timeline, texts, DMs, voice notes. For many of us, the household landline is gone. The thousands of low-stakes phone interactions the rest of us accumulated without thinking, those never happened for them.
And here's the connection back to everything we talked about earlier in this newsletter: their starting point is not yours. Their normal is not your normal. Just like we can't assume everyone prefers Slack over email, or texts over calls, we can't assume Gen Z arrived in the workforce with the same foundation we did. They didn't. That's not a character flaw. It's a context gap.
The good news is that context gaps are fixable. With a little grace, intentional training, and the patience to remember that not everyone is starting from the same place, these skills can absolutely be developed. The most effective professionals, at any age, are the ones who can read the room, adapt, and communicate in the way the situation and the person in front of them actually requires.
Honestly, that's less a Gen Z lesson and more just... a human one.
Join Us! Some of Our Upcoming Events
June 24 - The Art of the Business Table (For Professionals Who Mean Business) · VERITY, Toronto · 5:00 - 8:30 PM
Some of the most career-defining moments happen over a meal. A client dinner. A board lunch. A first meeting that turns into something significant. The question is, are you showing up to those moments with confidence?
Join us for an executive dining and learning experience at the stunning VERITY club, one of Toronto's most beautiful private members clubs. Over a guided 3-course meal, we'll cover the etiquette, strategy, and subtle skills that separate good from exceptional at the table. Skills you'll carry into every professional - and personal - setting for the rest of your career.
Plus, network with some of Toronto's most fascinating business leaders. Spots are intentionally limited.
June 11 - Gen Z Professionals Meetup · HOTHOUSE, Toronto · 6:30 - 8:30 PM
No managers. No agenda. Just young professionals (ages 19–29) talking freely with peers who actually get it. I've been hosting these in Durham Region for months - and you asked us to bring it to Toronto. 15 spots only. And more than half of them are already gone. If you're a leader managing Gen Z, share this with your team!
We just launched our newest episode today - and given everything we've been talking about in this newsletter, the timing couldn't be more fitting.
The phone call isn't dead. But the skill of handling one confidently is quietly disappearing. In this episode, I break down why a generation of capable, motivated employees are freezing up on calls, what it's costing them professionally, and the practical steps that actually fix it.
As always, if any of this resonated, forward it to someone who needs it. And if you're working with a team that could benefit from any of this work, I'd love to connect.
Subscribe for tips on handling workplace challenges, building communication and social skills, and exclusive course updates. Hear success stories from professionals, perfect for young professionals and leaders aiming to sharpen their skills and foster respect.
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