Hello Reader,
We need to talk about ghosting.
You've likely been there at one point in your career or another. You've sent that carefully crafted proposal, made that thoughtful introduction, or followed up after what felt like a promising conversation... only to hear nothing. Crickets. Radio silence.
It stings. It feels personal. And if I'm being completely honest? I've felt it too.
Just recently, I met an HR leader at a conference. When she heard what I do, her face lit up. She thrust her business card at me with such enthusiasm that I nearly dropped it - I wasn't expecting such a swift exchange. "We have to connect," she said. "This is exactly what my organization needs."
I returned home energized by the possibility. I sent a warm follow-up email. Then a phone call. Then one more thoughtful note. Nothing. Days turned into weeks. My mind spiraled: Did I misread her excitement? Was she just being polite? Did I say something wrong?
Here's what I've learned after many years in recruitment, advertising, and now as a leadership trainer: ghosting is rarely about you, and it's almost never as simple as it seems.
The Nuance We're Missing
Yes, the etiquette is clear: don't ghost. Respond. Communicate. Show basic professional courtesy. But here's where it gets complicated - and where we need to extend more grace than we think.
I once had a colleague frustrated because a client missed a deadline by three weeks with no explanation. The team was ready to write them off. When the client finally responded, we learned they'd experienced a sudden family tragedy and simply weren't in a headspace to think about work. They hadn't even set an out-of-office alert.
That moment changed how I think about ghosting.
Sometimes it's avoidance of a difficult conversation. Sometimes it's depression or anxiety making even a simple text feel overwhelming. Sometimes it's organizational chaos, or genuine emergencies, or simply being buried under competing priorities.
But sometimes? It's just poor character and lack of consideration. That's real too.
What You Can Control (And What You Can't)
You can't control whether someone responds. You can't control their priorities, their mental state, or their communication values.
But here's what you can control: your response, your standards, and your own behaviour.
When you're ghosted, take a breath before reacting. Check your assumptions at the door. Follow up once or twice with grace, then redirect your energy. Use ghosting as data - if someone demonstrates early in a relationship that communication isn't their value, believe them. Is this someone you want to build a long-term professional relationship with?
And here's perhaps the most important part: you know how it feels to be ghosted. So commit to not doing it yourself - even when it's uncomfortable, even when you're busy, even when you don't have good news to share.
The Lessons I've Learned the Hard Way
- Don't put all your eggs in one basket. Keep multiple opportunities in motion. When you're not depending on one person or one deal, a single ghosting incident won't derail you.
- Present proposals live when possible. I learned this after being ghosted one too many times. Live presentations prevent ghosting, create collaboration, and dramatically increase your close rate.
- Remember that tables turn. Whether you're the "big fish" or the "little fish" today, relationships matter. That person you ghosted when you were busy? They might be the one you need help from tomorrow. That small business you ignored when you were at a big company? Their CEO might be interviewing you next year.
- Build the skill of delivering difficult news. It's not easy, but it's essential. Practice saying "This isn't the right fit," or "We've decided to move in a different direction," or "I don't have capacity right now." Clear communication - even when it's uncomfortable - is always better than silence.
The Invitation
If you've ever ghosted someone (and let's be honest, many of us have), take a moment to think about why. What made silence feel easier than a difficult conversation? What might you have done differently? What was the impact on that person, their business, your relationship, your reputation?
And if you've been ghosted recently? Give yourself permission to move forward. Don't let someone else's silence define your worth or stall your momentum.
We build cultures - in our teams, our industries, our professional networks - through how we treat people. Choose integrity. Choose clear communication. Choose to be the person who responds, even when it's hard.
Because at the end of the day, people want to do business with people they trust. And trust is built one conversation at a time - especially the difficult ones.
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Check Out The Latest Podcast: "The Interview That Made Me Cry"
We've been talking about what happens when people go silent. But what about when they show up and behave so outrageously you wish they hadn't?
A candidate once put his feet on my desk during an interview. That wasn't even the worst part.
Whether it's ghosting or showing up with zero self-awareness, how we navigate professional moments reveals our character. In this episode, I'm sharing three real interview stories that will change how you think about professional presence forever.
As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts. Just hit reply.
Warm regards,
Trina Boos
Founder & CEO
Boost Academy of Excellence
boostacademyofexcellence.com
