Hello Reader,

There's something I come back to again and again in this work: so much of how we treat people lives in the details. In the things we never think to question. In the assumptions we make without realizing we're making them.

That thought landed differently recently, because of a conversation I had with a founder of a successful Canadian business that I haven't been able to stop thinking about.

A Checkbox Is Not a Relationship

This founder and CEO provides a valuable, specialized service to some of the largest companies in the country. His business is excellent - his product, his team, his results. But he is also a diverse business owner, and he told me honestly that for many of these organizations, that's part of why they come to him in the first place. The diversity checkbox gets ticked.

And then, once it is - the treatment changes.

What he described - for himself and for his staff - broke my heart. And in many cases, reporting the behaviour up the chain has fallen on deaf ears. As a small business, he's had to make painful decisions about whether to continue working with certain major organizations at all, because the way his team is treated doesn't just affect him. It affects his ability to keep good people, to maintain a thriving workplace culture, to grow sustainably, to protect his own mental health, and to show up every day with the dignity that any professional deserves - regardless of who signs the cheque.

That is why I wanted to write about this today.

The Vendor Is Not Your Punching Bag

We talk a lot about how leaders treat their teams. How managers speak to employees. How culture flows downward through an organization. And all of that matters enormously.

But there's another relationship that reveals just as much about a workplace's character - and it happens at the edges, not the centre. It's how a company treats the people it hires from the outside. The consultants. The freelancers. The vendors. The agencies.

Because here's what I've come to believe: the way you treat the people you don't have to be kind to? That says everything.

The Stories Behind This

A senior manager at a global firm described waking up every day with a pit in her stomach before engaging with a client. Seven weeks in, every interaction felt like a battle. Deliverables would be approved and then denied. Feedback was vague, then the vagueness was criticized. And when the client wasn't questioning her competence, they were doing it in front of others. She was emotionally detaching just to keep going - while simultaneously trying to shield her junior team members from the worst of it.

A freelance developer described six months of work for a design firm that refused to put anything in writing, wouldn't pay outstanding invoices, and would burst into his office unannounced. His contract had been breached multiple times. He was losing sleep. He wrote: "This is affecting my productivity. I'm losing money constantly with these projects and just want them gone." He'd been on his own for five years. This was his first time in this situation.

An IT professional rebooted a server with full documented approval, followed every process, communicated every step - and was met with accusations, swearing, and threats to cancel the contract. His own management's response? "Just adjust to the client's nature."

What These Stories Have in Common

When you are on the outside of an organization, the normal protections don't fully apply. There's no HR department advocating for the vendor. There's no performance review where the client's behaviour gets evaluated. The power sits almost entirely on one side.

Which is what makes this counterpoint so powerful. An MSP owner described walking away from a significant contract because a client manager was demeaning to his technicians. Something unexpected happened: his employees' respect for the organization went up. Considerably. Because they saw that the company meant it when they said people mattered.

That's not a soft outcome. That's culture in action.

So What Does Good Look Like?

Whether you're the client or the vendor, there are things worth holding onto.

If you are a client or organization:

The diversity checkbox is not a relationship. Choosing a vendor because they help you meet an inclusion goal rings hollow - and can cause real harm - if the treatment doesn't match the intention. Respect doesn't end at the contract signing.

Ask yourself what you'd tolerate internally. If a colleague spoke to your team the way this client speaks to your vendor's team, would there be consequences? If the answer is yes, the standard should be no different just because someone is on the outside of your organization.

If you are a vendor or service provider:

Name the behaviour, not the person. "That tone isn't something I'm able to work through productively" lands differently than "you're being rude." It's professional, it's boundaried, and it's harder to argue with.

Walking away is a business decision, not a failure. The clients who cost you your best people, your culture, and your peace of mind are never as profitable as they look on paper.

A Question for Leaders

If you manage client relationships - or manage the people who do - I'd love to hear from you.

Have you ever had to make the call to protect your team over a contract? Or have you been in a situation where you wish someone had made that call for you?

The line between difficult client and toxic client isn't always obvious in the moment. But most of us know it when we've crossed it - usually because it's showing up in someone's sleep, someone's confidence, or someone's decision to leave.

And if you are a vendor, a consultant, a contractor, or a small business owner who has navigated this - I see you too. Your experience matters, and it deserves to be part of this conversation.

Hit reply. I read every response, and these conversations genuinely shape the work I bring into organizations.

And if you're ready to start that conversation with your team, I'd love to help.

BOOK A CALL HERE ->

This One's For My Fellow Female Entrepreneurs

And speaking of rooms that buzz with the right energy - last week I attended one of the most incredible networking events I've been to in a long time.

I spent 3.5 hours with leaders from across Ontario - some of whom flew in from Europe - in a speed pitching format where you had to make your case directly to a buyer from a large enterprise company. We learned what it actually takes to get in the door at organizations like that. But honestly, the real magic was what happened between the pitches. The collaboration. The introductions. The kind of energy that only exists when the right people are in the same space at the same time.

I didn't capture much - I was too busy being present - but here's a glimpse of what the day looked like.

Maia is a Government of Canada-funded initiative connecting women entrepreneurs with enterprise buyers across the country. If you want to know more, reply and I'll point you in the right direction.

PODCAST: Café Etiquette for Remote Workers

Today's newsletter is about how we treat the people on the outside of our organizations. But consideration for others doesn't stop at the office door - it shows up in every shared space we occupy.

This episode started with something I witnessed firsthand in a café: a polite request from an elderly gentleman, and a reaction that surprised everyone in the room. It got me thinking about what it really means to show up well in shared spaces - and I'm sharing nine practical guidelines that make it easy to be both a productive remote worker and a considerate presence in the world around you.

Because those two things? They're never in conflict.
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LISTEN TO THE PODCAST ->

WATCH THE PODCAST ->

How we treat people - all people, inside the building and out - that's the whole thing.

Warm regards,

Trina Boos
​
Founder & CEO
Boost Academy of Excellence
​boostacademyofexcellence.com​