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You're both being professional. That's the problem.
Published about 1 month agoย โขย 4 min read
Hello Reader,
Ask a Baby Boomer what professionalism looks like, and they'll describe someone who arrives early, dresses formally, communicates through proper channels, and keeps personal opinions out of the workplace.
Ask a Gen Z employee the same question, and you'll hear something entirely different - someone who is authentic, speaks up about values, responds fast on Slack, and doesn't hide behind corporate language.
Neither answer is wrong. But when these definitions collide - and they do, every day - it creates friction, misunderstandings, and a lot of unnecessary tension.
I Decided to Stop Assuming and Start Listening
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Earlier this year, I ran a series of Gen Z professional meetups. I went in wanting to better understand their perspective to inform how I train people at work. What I came away with challenged a lot of what I was hearing from the other side of the generational divide.
One moment that stuck with me: when I asked about networking, one participant said, "I hate interacting with people when you use the word 'networking.' But I love meeting new people. Once you get comfortable and learn who you're talking to, it's amazing."
That's not someone who lacks professional skills. That's someone operating from a completely different framework.
Where the Disconnect Comes From
Think about how each generation entered the workforce. Boomers and Gen X walked into offices where hierarchy, formality, and face time signalled commitment and respect. Millennials started quietly pushing back on some of that. And Gen Z - raised on social media, remote learning, and a pandemic that hit during their most formative years - arrived with a completely different set of expectations about what work should look like.
Nobody handed anyone a rulebook. Everyone just assumed theirs was the standard.
So a 50-year-old director reads a direct Slack message as disrespectful. A 25-year-old reads a formal email as cold - or passive-aggressive. And neither one realizes they're not even playing the same game.
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A senior director sends a new Gen Z hire a formally worded email flagging a minor error. He signs off with "Please ensure this is corrected going forward." To him, it's professional and clear. To her, it feels like a written reprimand. She spends the rest of the day wondering if her job is at risk. He has no idea.
Same message. Wildly different reception.
What the Meetups Actually Revealed
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The more I listened, the more the stereotypes I kept hearing - that Gen Z is lazy, unreliable, or can't hold a professional conversation - fell apart.
What looked like laziness was often deliberate boundary-setting. Many participants were carefully balancing work, mental health, personal growth, and life goals. Setting limits was being misread as a lack of effort.
What looked like poor communication skills was largely the legacy of COVID. Remote learning reshaped how this generation interacts. In the right environment, with questions that genuinely engaged them, they were thoughtful and articulate. I watched it happen in real time.
What looked like flakiness was usually someone juggling too many priorities without enough clarity or support. Rarely intentional. Often fixable with better communication on both sides.
The disconnect isn't about work ethic. It's about two groups operating from completely different assumptions - and nobody bridging the gap.
A Millennial messages her director on Slack: "Hey! Quick q - are we still good for 2pm? ๐" To her, it's efficient and friendly. Her director finds the emoji unprofessional and the tone too familiar. He doesn't say anything - but he starts to form an impression.
Neither person did anything wrong. But neither understood how they were being read.
Three Ways to Bridge the Gap
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1. Name the difference, don't judge it. When a communication style feels off, get curious before you get critical. Ask yourself: Is this actually unprofessional, or just unfamiliar?
2. Establish shared standards. Rather than defaulting to one generation's norms, have an explicit conversation about what professionalism means on your team - expected response times, how you address one another, what "showing up" looks like.
3. Lead with intent, not just behaviour. Behind every professional habit is an intention - respect, reliability, clarity. When we focus on the shared intention, it becomes easier to accept that the behaviour expressing it might look different across generations.
The workplaces that get this right aren't the ones where everyone communicates the same way. They're the ones where people understand why others show up the way they do - and adjust accordingly.
Want to Work Together?
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Navigating these moments gracefully is at the heart of workplace etiquette. It's not about rigid rules. It's about understanding how your behaviour lands on others, and adjusting with intention. If your team could use a refresh, I'd love to work with you.
NEW PODCAST EPISODE! The Meeting Transparency Rule Most Professionals Break (And How It's Costing Them)
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A consultant I know accepted what she thought was a friendly networking call. When she joined, three executives appeared on screen - no warning, no context. What was framed as a casual get-to-know-you turned into an unpaid consulting session on the spot. The trust was gone immediately. I've experienced almost the exact same thing - and it's why I wanted to talk about this.
Over the next month, I'll be heading into the WMRCC to support their resident entrepreneurs with something I care deeply about: real professional presence. I'll be running group coaching sessions covering workplace communication, networking, client interactions, Canadian workplace culture, and professional presence as a business leader.
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Sheridan College - Interaction Design Graduating Class
I worked with Sheridan's graduating Interaction Design students twice in one week. The first was a half-day networking workshop preparing them for their year-end meet-and-greet with industry professionals. We covered:
How to set a specific, strategic networking goal - and why "I want a job" isn't one
The preparation that separates people who leave events with nothing from those who leave with meetings booked
How to approach senior professionals authentically without leading with "can I pick your brain?"
The craft of the follow-up - including writing a real outreach message before leaving the room
They brought me back later that week for a live group coaching session focused on mindset and confidence ahead of the big evening. One of those sessions that reminds me why I love this work.
The students' and faculty's messages the morning after said it all.
Subscribe for tips on handling workplace challenges, building communication and social skills, and exclusive course updates. Hear success stories from professionals, perfect for young professionals and leaders aiming to sharpen their skills and foster respect.
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